Respect Is Not Universal — And That Changes Everything at Work
The way you show respect may not be the way it’s experienced.
We use the word respect often in the workplace.
We expect it.
We ask for it.
We assume we understand it.
But what if we don’t?
This Conversation Was Bigger Than One Idea
While this reflection centers on respect, the conversation itself was layered.
Julie’s perspective is shaped by her experience as a Vietnamese-born refugee raised in the United States—an identity that sits within, but is not the same as, the broader immigrant narrative.
And that distinction matters.
Because not all movement is driven by the same forces.
Some people are pulled toward opportunity.
Others are pushed by circumstances they didn’t choose.
That difference doesn’t disappear once someone enters the workplace.
It shapes how people:
assess risk
define stability
interpret authority
and ultimately, how they experience something as simple—and complex—as respect
The Assumption We Rarely Question
We often operate as if respect is universal.
If I’m being respectful, you will experience it that way.
But that assumption is where the breakdown often begins.
Because respect is not just about intention.
It’s about interpretation.
Where Identity Shapes Interpretation
Interpretation doesn’t happen in isolation.
It is shaped by identity.
By lived experience.
By culture.
By the environments we’ve had to navigate.
This is where intersectionality becomes real—not as a concept, but as a lived experience that shapes how we interpret what’s happening around us.
So when we talk about respect in the workplace, we’re not starting from the same place.
We’re interpreting it through different histories.
Different pressures.
Different expectations.
And that’s where the gap begins.
Code-Switching, Reframed
Another moment that stayed with me was Julie's reframing of code-switching.
In many conversations, code-switching is positioned as a compromise.
As pressure.
As something people do to fit in.
But what if it’s also something else?
What if it’s a strategy? I love how she describes this, and I agree wholeheartedly because I have also lived it.
Code-switching could be an intentionally strategic tool.
A way of expanding communication across contexts.
A way of building connection across differences.
A way of navigating multiple spaces without losing yourself.
That shift matters.
Because it moves the narrative from:
“What do I have to suppress?”
To:
“What am I able to access?”
The Gap Between Intention and Experience
This is where the conversation becomes particularly relevant for leaders.
Because most workplace challenges are not rooted in bad intent.
They’re rooted in mismatched interpretations.
Someone believes they are being respectful.
Someone else experiences distance, dismissal, or even disregard.
And without a shared understanding, both people walk away believing something different happened.
That gap is not solved by policy.
It’s solved by curiosity.
Curiosity as a Leadership Practice
Julie’s work centers on curiosity—not as a personality trait, but as a practice.
And this is where the conversation shifts from insight to responsibility.
Because curiosity requires:
Slowing down before reacting
Asking before assuming
Listening without immediately interpreting
It asks leaders to move from certainty to exploration.
And that’s not always comfortable.
But it is necessary.
What This Means in Practice
If respect is not universal, then leadership cannot rely on assumptions.
It has to be responsive.
It has to account for:
Different lived experiences
Different interpretations
Different expectations
Which means the question is no longer:
“Am I being respectful?”
But:
“How is this being experienced?”
🎧 If this resonated, you can listen to the full conversation with Dr. Lola Adeyemo and Dr. Julie Pham right here:
Closing Reflection
We often think of respect as something we give.
But it’s experienced, not delivered.
So the question becomes:
Where might your intention and someone else’s experience be misaligned?
If this reflection stayed with you, I explore these conversations weekly through the podcast and here on Substack.